From the Editor
The sun is shining today and it seems unfair.
Last week, I learned of the suicide of Randy R., a recovery friend of many years (see adjacent article). Tomorrow, I will attend the funeral of a former colleague’s 19 year old son. Yesterday, my sister informed me that recent medical tests have disclosed cancer in one of her breasts and some lymph nodes.
And yet, the sun goes on shining.
These apparent tragedies are the kinds of painful experiences that in my active addiction would have led me to act out. I would have seen these events as further proof that life sucks and that God doesn’t care. Bad things should not happen to good people.
Fortunately, 18 years of recovery work and the kindness of two of my sponsees have given me a new perspective.
Some time ago one of my sponsees gave me a copy of the book When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön. Recently, another sponsee gave me a copy of the book The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning.
The experience of sharing SAA meetings with hundreds of good, worthwhile and lovable people who happen to be sexually addicted, along with the wisdom found in the gifts from my sponsees help me to realize that bad things happen to good people because we are all good people—wounded, broken, weak, damaged, weary, imperfect, addicted perhaps, but good nonetheless.
The adversities of life are not some divine punishment for our moral failings. Like the countless blessings that we also receive, they are simply the fruits of being human.
Just as we could not appreciate heat without knowing cold or health without sickness, so we could not appreciate joy without hardship.
Randy R. brought joy and humor to my life; my friend’s son enlivened his family and delighted has friends; my sister has been blessed with 58 years of life free from serious illness or accident. It is precisely the experience of goodness that each of them have brought to my life that makes the current events sad—it is the loss of life as I know it and the dread of living a new reality that frightens me.
But I do not need to act out. My trust is in the Higher Power who graced me with the great gift of these individuals in my life. Everything that he has given me has worked to my benefit—even my addiction. These hardships will, no doubt, do the same.
Peace. Mike C.
Tags: Gifts of Recovery