“Sex addiction is a betrayal of the loving heart. Like all addictions, it is cunning, baffling, powerful–and destructive. It often has its roots in childhood, in unhealthy family relationships where there was boundary trespassing, seduction, violence, and other abuse. Sex addiction then may continue in secrecy from generation to generation. Those of us who were abused often kept seeking out situations that seemed to promise gratification, but they inevitably brought humiliation and pain. We tried to figure out the obscure mechanism that drove our behavior, and we may have even managed to work out some kind of explanation. But more often than not, we continued acting out and re-enacting our desperate scenarios. Our behavior remained inexplicable, implacable and devastating.

“To understand what was happening to us, we found we needed to change the beliefs that under laid and motivated our behavior. What we discovered continues to be true at each stage of our recovery. We need to be honest, fearless, and confront our affliction by breaking out of our secrets and shame. Above all, we need to develop new ways of interpreting our feelings and expressing them, and new ways of loving and relating to the world.

“Love is the antidote to addiction. By love, we mean the abiding affection that comes from connecting with others. This love includes and nurtures our sexuality as we rethink the relationship between love and power. Such love does not exist in isolation, and so we move toward other men and women to find and develop it.

“Most of us were enslaved by our addiction as long as we were convinced that we were unlovable and therefore incapable of loving others. For many of us, our search brought us to programs that offer vital and nurturing communities where we can learn the simple truths of loving an allowing ourselves to be loved. It is here we can find the serenity and strength to daily turn our struggles over to a Power greater than ourselves. Often spiritual healing brought sexual healing as we recognized an expressed ourselves as whole people, with both masculine and feminine aspects. In these programs, we continue to find confidence and fellowship as we open ourselves to others and our Higher Power…”

– source unknown

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